Sofia Jayne

What have you struggled with during isolation?

Well, it’s all a bit of a struggle really isn’t it? But there’s been two main things that have got to me with isolation. The first is on a personal level and that’s definitely got to be having been restricted from giving my loved ones a big fat hug! I miss my family that I don’t live with and my beautiful friends incredibly so! On a world scale though, I have really struggled with seeing how difficult this pandemic has been for so many people in this world. I’ve realised how lucky I am and I wish that I could share my luck with every single person who really needs it right now. 

How have you dealt with this struggle?

I’ve been keeping myself really really busy. Maybe that’s not always healthy and so I’m working on some wind-down busyness too, but mostly I’ve been filling my time with creativity. I’ve had lots of uni to do but I’ve also been doing my own writing, little bits of amateur art and strumming my guitar and singing in an also very amateur way. I’ve been working on my record collection and keeping my head in books and films and caring for my room-full of plants. My motivation for all this busyness comes from my struggle with seeing all the hardship occurring in the world right now. I am trying to make myself a wise and skilful bank of knowledge so that when I can go out in the world I can put all my time to use. 

What have you found within your 5km?

In completing a photographic essay for uni, I came to notice beautiful instances of nature fighting back. That was the subject of my essay and so I walked my 5km many many times looking for these instances. I found grass growing in house roofs and in a car. I found vines overtaking fences and growing up an electrical poll. I found many vacant houses and blocks that nature is now taking back. I spent one night trying to photograph the rain on the road and looked up to see all those stars. I don’t see them that often in the city, but it was a nice reminder that the world is still out there. 

A little artsy contribution:

The time has come to let you go

I grieve you now like a passing loved one

Many years we’ve spent together,

And I would say we were in love

 

So fond of you I was, despite your abuse

Crawl back to you I did after each time you threw me,

Into the darkness of your handsome shadow

You were the one I knew I shouldn’t love,

Yet such harrowing pleasure I took from your torture

To be loved by you was a thrill of self-destruction,

But I no longer need you

 

For I have learnt to find thrills in pure joy

I have become wise to your burdensome love,

And have found a way to be without you

Strong I am alone and indominable to your blows

 

I never thought this day would come,

That I would look beyond and not see you,

That I would take a breath and truly breathe

Behind me you stay as a figure of my past

And that part of you I keep fondly,

For I carry courage in having made it through you

I was so afraid to let you go

But I no longer am

 

The final thing I wish to say to you,

Is that I hope one day you will finally find what you seek

That you will finally fill your empty void

And shall we ever meet again,

Let us come and pass like old friends

 

Goodbye Depression.

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A note of context:

On our first zoom call for this project, Shan asked us to think of a goal. My goal was to push myself and create my first complete painting and one from my own imagination. For too long now I have stopped myself from creating because of an obsession with perfection. This obsession has also been the topic of struggle with my mental health. So my art was to be a way of stripping myself of that burden and getting creative, as well as improving my mental health. I have also experienced a struggle with depression for years too many now, and so, this letter to Depression is a parting letter. The writer and sentimental person I am, means I need a corny yet defiant send off to this dark time in my life. Thank you to Shan and these beautiful artists for giving me this opportunity to do so. Here is my send off! Goodbye Depression!